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THE APARTMENT
Gabi was going in two weeks late for her five month check-up. The doctor had rescheduled her appointment twice, so she was a little off schedule. "Gabi, what time is your doctor’s appointment today?" Antonio called from the kitchen. "Uh, 3:00...if you’re busy and can’t make it, I’ll understand," Gabi answered from the bathroom. "No, I’ll meet you there. I wouldn’t miss it," Antonio replied happily. "You better hurry, you’re going to be late." Gabi had been having some cramping this past week she hadn’t mentioned to Antonio. He had been very busy with work and she didn’t want him to worry needlessly. She had been busy at the station and just assumed she was stressed out. He already knew about this appointment, so she couldn’t very well tell him not to come. Gabi walked into the kitchen. "Really, Antonio, I know you are busy with the club so I understand if you…" Antonio cut her off with a kiss. "I’ll be there," he said with a smile. "Now go!" He handed the brown lunch bag to her and directed her to the door. "I love you." Gabi turned to look lovingly at her husband. "I love you, too. Good bye." She gave him one last kiss and headed down the stairs. THE STATION Gabi was staring blankly at the papers on her desk. She couldn’t concentrate remembering the two cramping pains she had on her way to work that morning. Gabi rubbed her stomach gently as another wave of cramping came over her. "Uhhh," she moaned quietly so no one would hear her. She took a deep breath waiting for the pain to ease. Ricardo was watching Gabi from the front desk. He could see something was not right. He walked up next to her desk. "Gabi, is everything okay?" his voice filled with concern. Gabi startled. "Yes, I just...I just felt strange for a minute. I’m fine." "Are you sure?" Ricardo tipped his head to meet her eyes. "Yeah. Thanks." Gabi stood up slowly from her chair. "Excuse me." Ricardo watched as Gabi moved gingerly across the room. He was genuinely worried, this wasn’t the first time this week he had noticed her in pain. He contemplated calling Antonio, but decided he would rather be the one there for Gabi if something was going to go wrong. Gabi walked into the ladies room leaning herself against the sink as she fought to catch her breath. This one was the worst yet, she thought. She had dismissed these pains at first, but now, they were coming more often and she was growing concerned. She checked her watch, it was 1:15. Gabi looked at herself in the mirror before heading back to her desk. "Gabi, are you sure you’re okay?" Ricardo had been waiting for her right outside the door. "Yes, Ricardo, I’m...oohh!" she cried out doubling over with pain. Ricardo grabbed onto her arm tightly to keep her from falling onto the floor. "Oh, God. It hurts," she sobbed holding on desperately to Ricardo. She looked up with fear in her eyes, "Please help me, Ricardo. Something’s wrong." Ricardo’s heart sank seeing Gabi in so much pain. "Hold on, Gab. I’ll take care of you." He picked her up and carried her quickly out to his car. THE HOSPITAL Ricardo sat nervously in the waiting room. Gabi had been in the emergency room for almost two hours. Ricardo stood up heading to the nurse’s station. "Can someone please tell me what’s going on with Gabi Mar..Torres?" he was becoming irritated. "I’m sorry, sir, as I told you before we can only release information to her husband. Hasn’t he arrived yet?" the nurse asked diplomatically. No, he hasn’t arrived yet, I haven’t called him, Ricardo thought to himself. "No, he isn’t here yet...please, can’t I just go see her?" "I’m sorry." The nurse turned away from him. Ricardo hit the desk in frustration as he jerked himself around. He was shocked to see Antonio walking towards him. "Ricardo, what are you doing here? Has something happened to mama, Maria?" Ricardo couldn’t believe his luck. Damn, he mumbled. "Ricardo?" Antonio prodded. "No, Antonio, it’s Gabi," he said quietly. "Gabi! W hat happ...where is she?" Antonio began to panic. "Why didn’t you call me, Ricardo? What were you..." "I did call you, Antonio. I left a message at the Deep. Didn’t you get it?" Ricardo tried to sound convincing. "I wasn’t there. Where’s Gabi?" Antonio pushed past Ricardo to the nurse’s desk. "Excuse me, I’m Antonio Torres, where is my wife?" "Mr. Torres, I’m glad you’re here. Let me page the doctor for you." The nurse reached for the phone. Antonio reached to grab her arm, "Forget the doctor, I want to see my wife." His tone was harsh. "Excuse me, Antonio Torres?" the soothing voice called out from behind him. Antonio turned around quickly to find the young doctor standing next to him. "I’m Dr. Green. Would you come with me, please?" Antonio’s stomach twisted in a knot. Why wouldn’t they just let him see Gabi? Antonio reluctantly followed the doctor into a consultation room leaving Ricardo alone in the hall. The doctor closed the door behind them. "Have a seat, Mr. Torres." "If you don’t mind, I’d rather just see my wife," Antonio snapped reaching for the door handle. "Gabi was brought in a few hours ago by your brother. She was having severe cramping. By the time she arrived, she had already begun bleeding. I’m sorry, Mr. Torres, she lost the baby." Antonio heard the words, but they wouldn’t register. His entire body was numb. No, no, no, his head was screaming in disbelief. His hands trembled as he ran them nervously through his hair. "We had to give her a sedative, she was extremely distraught. I’ll take you to see her now." Antonio nodded blankly at the doctor. Dr. Green started out the door with Antonio following. Antonio didn’t know how his legs were working, he was just moving. Ricardo watched from a distance as Antonio trailed the doctor down the hall and into the emergency corridor. The doctor stopped outside Gabi’s door. Antonio shook his head as the doctor started to walk away. "Dr. Green?" he said in almost a whisper. "Was it…?" Antonio choked up before he could finish. "It was a boy," he said solemnly. "I’m so sorry." Antonio hung his head as the tears filled his eyes. A boy...a baby boy. Antonio stood with his forehead against the wall as he lost complete control of his emotions. He sobbed violently hitting his fist repeatedly against the wall. Get control, he told himself, get control. He took a deep breath, wiping his eyes as he placed his hand against the door handle. Slowly, he pushed it open. Gabi lay sleeping attached to a machine monitoring her vitals. She looked so fragile, so delicate with an IV needle injected into her hand. Antonio’s eyes moved immediately to her stomach, no longer swollen with their baby. Unable to stop them, the tears spilled once again from his eyes. He stood motionless for a long time before slowly moving to sit down in the chair next to the bed. Antonio leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands as he sobbed quietly. Gabi’s eyes fluttered as she tried hard to focus on Antonio. She moaned softly trying to shake off the effects of the medication. Antonio opened his eyes reaching instantly for her hand. The hospital room had grown dark except for the dim light above Gabi’s bed. "Antonio?" Gabi said groggily. Antonio moved closer to the bed placing his other hand on Gabi’s arm. "I’m here, Gabi. I’m right here," his voice was gruff and raw. "Oh, Antonio," Gabi closed her eyes tightly. "I had this terrible dream..." Antonio felt a wave of nausea wash over him realizing that Gabi thought it had all been a nightmare. "I was at the station and I had this awful pain. Ricardo was with me and he brought me to the hospital. But it hurt so bad, Antonio. I was crying and..." Gabi opened her eyes. The look on Antonio’s face and the pain in his eyes stopped her from speaking. Antonio didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t find the words. Tears slipped from his eyes as he tightened his grip on Gabi’s hand. Gabi searched Antonio’s eyes and began shaking her head. "No...no...oh...no," she whimpered, the tears filling her eyes. "It wasn’t a dream, Gabi," Antonio spoke slowly and softly. "Baby, you’re in the hospital..." "No...no...where’s my baby...where’s my baby?" she demanded loudly. Gabi was frightened and shaking as she reached her hands to where she expected to find her swollen belly. She looked down in horror to find her stomach now flat. "Oh my God, no...no...my baby!" She tried desperately to sit up in bed. "No, Antonio, no," she cried defiantly, the sobs beginning to wrack her body. Antonio felt utterly powerless watching Gabi lose control. There was nothing he could do or say to make it go away. His heart was aching as much as hers. Antonio moved to the bed taking Gabi in his arms. "Shhh, Gabi...shhh." He held her tightly as she balled up her fists and began flailing them relentlessly at his chest. "No, Antonio, no," she screamed. "No..." Her screaming dissolved into silent crying. Antonio sobbed uncontrollably holding on to Gabi for dear life. "Shh...shh," he repeated over and over knowing it wouldn’t quiet either one of them. A soft knock on the door pulled Antonio back into reality. He laid Gabi back against the pillows as she stared blankly at the wall. Antonio stood and turned as the door opened. A nurse came into the room carrying a small blue bundle. She stepped toward Antonio as he slowly extended his arms. The nurse placed the baby into his strong arms softly then turned and exited the room in silence. Antonio fought to breathe as he stared at the tiny baby swaddled in the soft blue blanket. He felt incredibly weak as he turned to face Gabi. She wouldn’t look at him keeping her eyes focused on some miniscule spot on the wall. Antonio moved slowly to the bed, sitting down gingerly next to Gabi. He turned his head toward her to see if she had moved. "Gabi," his voice cracked as he spoke. "Please, baby, you need to say goodbye." It was the hardest thing he ever had to ask her. Gabi shook her head vehemently without looking away from the wall. "Please, Gabi," Antonio pleaded as the tears spilled onto his cheeks. Antonio stood from the bed turning to face Gabi. She raised her eyes to meet his. "I can’t," she managed to whisper. "No, Antonio." Antonio leaned down placing the baby gently on her lap. She refused to look down, her eyes pleading with his. "No, I can’t," she sobbed. Antonio sat down next to her again placing his right arm around her shoulders and his left hand on top of the baby. He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. "Please, Gabi," he whispered into her ear. "We have to say goodbye." Gabi’s eyes fell to the tiny infant lying against her arms. She gasped as a sob exploded from her chest. Antonio squeezed her tightly. Slowly, her arms enveloped the bundle as she raised him to her chest. She closed her eyes as the tears fell onto the blue blanket. Antonio cried quietly as Gabi held the baby to her breast rocking slowly from side to side. Antonio moved his left arm up around Gabi’s chest as they held their little baby boy for the first and last time.
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