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BEN & MARIA’S
Gabi helped Ricardo into bed sliding his legs underneath the sheets. She pulled the blanket up over him and sat down next to him. "Are you comfortable?" He blinked. "Do you need anything?" Blink, blink. "I think I’m going to go for a walk on the beach, okay?" Blink. "I won’t be long. I love you." Ricardo blinked then watched Gabi walk to the french doors. He didn’t know what happened between her and Antonio in the kitchen, but he knew it had affected her, which was just what he had intended. Gabi stepped out onto the beach. The warm salty air made her skin tingle as she slipped off her sandals and carried them in her hand. She was so tired, exhausted…but she wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. Tonight would be the first time she shared a bed with Ricardo as his wife. They wouldn’t make love, of course, but it was an emotional event just the same. She would sleep next to her new husband when the man she longed to sleep next to, to be married to, was his brother. Gabi shook the forbidden thoughts from her mind as she strolled along the water’s edge. She and Antonio had agreed to move past their affair. She was committed to Ricardo’s recovery and he said he understood. How could he do that to her…kiss her like that and tell her he missed her? Of course she missed him too, but they were supposed to forget about that. Gabi wandered the beach until she felt like her eyes wouldn’t stay open another minute. She headed back to the house and slipped in the doors. Ricardo was sleeping peacefully as Gabi changed into her nightshirt. She came out of the bathroom and climbed quietly into bed. She sat up for a minute looking at Ricardo. She never would have imagined it like this…being married to him and taking care of him this way. She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Good night," she whispered as she lay back against the pillow. Her eyes closed and she was asleep in a flash. Ricardo was having another nightmare. He was walking down the beach at sunset. Gabi was supposed to meet him and he had yet to find her. Several couples strolled hand in hand, kissing and laughing. Ricardo neared the pier as his eyes fell to two lovers on the sand, partially concealed by a blanket. Ricardo began to turn away when he recognized the shoes lying next to the couple. He stepped quietly to the side and realized that the couple making love passionately was Antonio and Gabi. Ricardo began to twitch and moan loudly. Gabi sat up with a start as she reached for Ricardo’s arm. "Ricardo, wake up," she commanded him softly. "Ricardo." His eyes flew open, filled with panic. "It’s okay, you were just having a nightmare." Gabi caressed his arm and pushed his hair off his sweaty forehead. "I’m here." Ricardo’s breathing slowed as he focused on Gabi. She was smiling at him and touching his arm. "Are you okay, now?" He blinked. "Good." Gabi lay back down and rolled towards him. She placed her hand on his forearm and closed her eyes. A tear slipped from Ricardo’s eye as he watched his wife sleeping. With great effort, he lifted his free arm and put his hand over hers. He closed his eyes tightly and fell back to sleep. Michael arrived to begin Ricardo’s PT session. Gabi had some errands to run. She grabbed her purse and knelt beside Ricardo. "I won’t be gone long. Michael will take good care of you." She smiled at them both and stood to leave. "If you need me, I have Ricardo’s pager." Michael shook his head and began to help Ricardo out of his chair. Gabi waited until Michael had him settled then turned and left. Gabi had several stops to make. She needed to drop by the station and talk to the chief. She was taking some time off until Ricardo’s situation was more stable. After the station, she stopped by to see Vanessa at work and then headed to the store. As she walked down the sidewalk, her mind wandered. She turned the corner without looking and ran smack into a solid wall of Antonio. "Excuse..." her voice trailed off immediately. Antonio’s hands had grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling over. Gabi’s eyes met his as a heart-stopping smile crossed his lips. "Excuse me. I have to go," she said flatly as she pulled her shoulders from his hands. The smile faded as Antonio watched her step away quickly. "Gabi," he called after her reaching for her arm. "Gabi, wait." He clutched her arm but she wouldn’t turn around. "What’s wrong?" Gabi spun around with an incredulous look that took him by surprise. "What’s wrong?" Her voice was a little too loud. "What’s wrong?" Antonio looked around quickly to see who was within earshot. He could tell she was upset and wanted to move somewhere more private. He directed her into the alley next to the store. "Gabi," he spoke calmly. "Why are you so upset?" His deep, dark eyes searched hers. Gabi punched him in the stomach. "Ouch!" he said even though it didn’t really hurt. "What was that for?" "Last night," she barked. "What the hell was that in the kitchen? I miss you?" "I do," he answered quickly as he reached for her hand. "I do miss you." Gabi’s eyes brimmed with tears. "You think I don’t miss you too? Damn it," she said as she brushed away her tears. "Don’t do this to me, Antonio. You promised." Antonio pulled her against his rugged chest. He had promised her it would be over between them, but it was already harder than he had ever imagined. Gabi closed her eyes as she rested her head against him. Her arms slipped around his waist as he gently rubbed her back. "I had to touch you, Gabi." He spoke softly into her hair. "I had to feel you against me again." His lips touched the top of her head. "You looked so tired and I knew you needed me to hold you." Gabi raised her head to look into his eyes. Antonio touched her cheek tenderly as he leaned forward to kiss her. She felt his warm breath fanning her lips and she wanted nothing more than to have his lips against hers. She turned her head quickly. "I can’t, Antonio." His lips landed against her temple as he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "Please, Gabi," he pleaded with her gently. "Please let me kiss you." Gabi pulled herself away from him and ran from the alley, leaving him standing alone. She cried all the way back to the house, back to her husband. Gabi stood on the porch checking herself in her compact. Her mascara was almost completely washed away and her eyes looked red. She did her best to fix her face before she walked inside. Ricardo was still working with Michael in the living room. Gabi nodded to Michael and headed directly into their room. She threw her bags on the bed and ran into the bathroom. She needed to be alone, to think. Turning on the shower, she slipped off her clothes and stepped into the warm water. She tried to wash away Antonio’s touch, the feel of his arms around her, his lips against her. She could have showered for a week and never gotten rid of his touch – she didn’t really want to. After a short shower, she dried off and got dressed. Ricardo would be wondering why she hadn’t even said hello. Gabi sat down on the couch as Michael settled Ricardo back into his chair. Ricardo’s eyes were on Gabi as she smiled softly at him. "Ricardo is getting stronger every day," Michael reported. "I had to make him stop his exercises today." Gabi put her hand on Ricardo’s knee. "In the next few days, we’re going to start some weight bearing exercises." "That’s great, baby," Gabi said as she squeezed his leg. "I’m so proud of you." Ricardo blinked and managed a small smile. "Are you hungry?" Ricardo blinked. Gabi leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I’ll be right back." She headed into the kitchen to fix his shake. Michael smiled at Ricardo. "She really loves you, man. You’re lucky to have her." Ricardo felt his heart aching. His mind played tricks on him every once in a while when he really believed that was true. He couldn’t let his guard down with her. Given the opportunity, she would be with Antonio again in a second. Gabi returned with his shake and a straw. She sat down next to him and helped him drink his lunch. "Ricardo should be ready for some soft food in the next week. The dietician will give you a call to set up an appointment." Michael said his good byes and left them alone. "Are you tired, Ricardo? Do you want to take a nap?" Ricardo blinked. Gabi pushed his chair into the bedroom. She helped him into the bed, his large frame almost crushing her if she didn’t handle him just so. She settled him under the covers. "I’ll be in the other room, okay?" Ricardo blinked twice. "You don’t want me to leave?" Ricardo blinked. Gabi smiled softly and lay down with him on the bed. She closed her eyes but was startled when she felt his hand touch hers. She sat up to find him smiling softly at her. "I love you, Ricardo," she said quietly as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. She settled back down and they took a nap together, holding hands. Antonio wandered aimlessly down the beach. His encounter with Gabi had left him feeling empty. He was so excited to see her and he thought she would be too. He walked along silently until he realized he was outside of Maria and Ben’s. The house looked to be empty with all the doors closed. He stepped onto the patio and peered in to the living room. Out of curiosity, he moved to the doors that entered the guestroom. His heart sank to his feet when his eyes fell on Ricardo and Gabi lying in bed together holding hands. He wanted to turn away, to remove his gaze from them. It was painful to see her in bed with his brother. He knew they weren’t together intimately, but she was his wife and that was enough. He closed his eyes and tried to turn away. Unable to help himself, he looked back one last time. To his surprise, Ricardo’s eyes were now open and staring directly at him. Antonio ducked quickly to the side as his heart pounded in his chest. He felt foolish playing peeping tom on his brother and Gabi but worst of all, he had been caught. THE MISSION Antonio stormed around his office, tossing books carelessly. Why couldn’t he put aside his feelings for Gabi? She married Ricardo and it was the best thing for them all. Ricardo needed her to help him recover. "I need her, too," Antonio spoke out loud. His mind flashed to her lying in bed holding Ricardo’s hand. Antonio wasn’t unfamiliar with the jealousy that raged within him…he had felt it all too often seeing Ricardo and Gabi together in the past. It seemed so much more final, now. They were married…and Antonio had been the one to perform the ceremony. Gabi is Ricardo’s wife, he reminded himself. It didn’t matter how many times he said it…Antonio still loved her and wanted her, more now than before. Antonio prayed silently for God to give him strength. He needed to focus his attention on the Mission and the people who needed him there. Ricardo needed Gabi and she was going to be there for him. Antonio would just have to find a way to go on with his life as a priest…without Gabi. He hung his head with a broken heart. BEN & MARIA’S Gabi had been taking care of Ricardo 24 hours a day for the last three weeks. She hadn’t slept, barely eaten and her own health was beginning to suffer. Ricardo was a difficult patient…he was too strong willed for his own good and put up a fight about everything. He was starting to wear on Gabi’s nerves. She needed a distraction, something to help her relax…she needed Antonio. He had all but disappeared from the family in the recent weeks. Gabi blamed herself for turning him away in the alley that day. She wanted to kiss him, she desperately needed to feel his lips against hers, but she knew giving in to her feelings for him was out of the question. If she did it once, she would never be able to let him go again. Ricardo could tell that Gabi was deep in thought. She was twisting her necklace in her fingers the way she always did when something was troubling her. He knew she was thinking about Antonio. "G...gab...I," Ricardo said quietly. "A...are you...o...okay?" He had been working with a speech pathologist and was making tremendous steps toward regaining his speech. Bigger steps than he was letting anyone know about. "I’m fine, Ricardo," her voice was not convincing. "I’m just really tired." She rubbed the back of her neck. "W..why don’t you g...go to b...bed?" He smiled softly at her. He had to concentrate hard to remember to stutter. "I…I’ll be o…kay." "Are you sure? Maria is here if you need anything." Gabi stood from the couch. "I really could use a decent night’s sleep." Ricardo gave her a nod and Gabi kissed his cheek. "I love you," she said mechanically before she went into the bedroom and shut the door. Ricardo sat alone in the living room. Maria was upstairs tucking Benjy into bed. "I love you," Ricardo mocked softly. "Yeah, right." He stretched his legs and rubbed his muscles. Sitting in the wheelchair was making him incredibly stiff. He wished he could stop pretending and just walk across the room, but Gabi wouldn’t feel obligated to him if she knew, so for the time being, he had no choice. Whenever he was alone, he stood and walked in circles around his chair just to get the blood flowing again. He was so full of nervous energy, he was afraid one day he would slip up in front of Gabi. Ricardo gathered his thoughts for the next step of his plan. He still had the tape in his glove compartment…it was time he turned his attention to his baby brother. Just what would the church think if they stumbled across the tape of the priest committing a cardinal sin? Ricardo smiled wickedly as he contemplated his move. Gabi closed the door quietly and sat down on the bed. She picked up the phone as her heart began to beat furiously. Gabi didn’t get much time alone these days and tonight, she had to call Antonio…she just needed to hear his voice. Nervously, she dialed the number to the Mission. "Father Antonio," his voice was somber and deep. Gabi felt her pulse race in response. "Hello?" Gabi couldn’t make the words come out. "Gabi?" he asked quietly knowing with his entire heart that she was on the other end. Gabi sobbed quietly as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "Oh baby," Antonio said softly as he closed his eyes. "It’s okay. I’m here." Gabi grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. "Hi," she whispered as her voice broke. Antonio knew he would have to carry the conversation. Gabi was much too upset to speak. "I’m so glad you called. I…," he hesitated. "I missed you so much." "I miss you too," she answered. "I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk to me." "Of course I do," his voice echoed how much her comment hurt. "I’ve wanted to see you...to call you so many times. I just wanted to give you space after…well, that day." "I know," she said sadly. "I’m sorry. I just couldn’t..." her voice trailed off. "I know. I understand." They both sat silently for a few seconds, neither one sure of what to say next. Antonio decided to direct the conversation to more neutral territory. "So, how are you?" Gabi sighed. "I’m fine...just really exhausted." "Are you getting enough sleep?" Antonio’s voice was full of concern, which made Gabi smile. "You have to take care of you too, you know." "Yes, I know." Gabi wiped her eyes once again. She heard Maria speaking to Ricardo just outside the door. "I have to go," she whispered in a panic, afraid she was going to get caught. "I love you," she said without hesitation as she hung up and lay back in the bed. Antonio closed his eyes as he clutched the phone to his chest. "I love you too," he whispered as he hung up the phone. "I always will."
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