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The conversations in the room eluded Antonio; he stared blankly ahead not making eye contact with anyone. He wanted to be alone, for everyone to just go away. Never one to be rude, instead of asking for privacy, he merely put himself behind a protective wall and chose to speak to no one. From time to time he closed his eyes thinking that maybe they would believe he had fallen asleep. No one knew what to say to him and the tension was almost unbearable. Thankfully, a nurse came in to check him.
"How are we doing Mr. Torres," his nurse asked as she checked his monitors and his vitals. "Are you in any pain?" Pain. A shot. Perfect. "Um, yes actually." Everyone in the room popped their heads up; could he be feeling his legs. "Under my bandage. That’s where I have pain." It wasn’t a lie. Antonio could feel the site of his incision; it was an eight-inch long wound that ran from just under his ribcage down toward his groin. He could feel pain at the top of the incision. "Would you like some pain medication?" Antonio nodded never taking his eyes from the nurse. He didn’t care anymore if it made him fall asleep as long as it made everyone leave. The nurse administered something from the machine that sat to the side of Antonio’s bed. "That should help but it might make you sleepy," she smiled. Antonio shook his head and rested back against the pillow. As the nurse left his bedside, Carmen quickly took her place. Antonio closed his eyes. "Mi hijo," Carmen cooed as she held her son’s cheek with her palm. "I’m going to go to the chapel, si? You will sleep soon and you need your rest." Turning to Maria, she said, "Come with me, Maria?" Maria nodded with a small smile and leaned over to kiss Antonio. She whispered something into his ear and Gabi could see that he squeezed his eyes tighter when she spoke. Carmen and Maria hugged Ricardo before they left; Gabi stared at Antonio waiting for him to open his eyes. "Maybe we should get going, too," Ricardo said quietly placing his arm around Gabi’s shoulder. She hadn’t had a second alone with Antonio since he woke up and leaving was the last thing on her mind. "He needs to get some sleep and it’s been a long day for you too." "No, Ricardo," Gabi protested. "I don’t want to leave." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I don’t think he should be alone." "Ricardo." Gabi and Ricardo turned to see Antonio finally with his eyes open but only looking at Ricardo. "Take Gabi home." "No Antonio," Gabi sighed as she walked around to the side of his bed. "I don’t want to leave you…alone." Her eyes darted to Ricardo then back to Antonio; she hoped Ricardo didn’t hear the desperation in her voice. Antonio continued to look at Ricardo. "It’s been a long day for her Ricardo. Please?" Dropping his eyes from Ricardo to the bed, he spoke to Gabi. "Gabi, I’m alright. Just go home." Gabi placed her hand gently on top of his; Antonio closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If she stayed another second, he was going to die. "Ricardo?" he said weakly. "Come on Gabi. Let’s go," Ricardo pulled Gabi gently from her chair. "We’ll see you tomorrow, T. Get some rest." Well, I’ll be here, Antonio thought to himself as he nodded. Ricardo leaned across and hugged his brother; Antonio lifted his arm and squeezed Ricardo’s shoulder. "Goodnight, Antonio," Gabi said softly as she stood near his bed. When he didn’t respond, she backed slowly away. He knew he was hurting her, but he just couldn’t. "I’ll be in the hall," she announced to Ricardo as she grabbed her purse and headed through the door. Ricardo turned back to Antonio who had now opened his eyes. "She’ll be alright. She’s just tired." Antonio nodded with a sad smile. "Goodnight bro." The door closed behind Ricardo and finally, he was alone. Antonio looked around the quiet, bland hospital room. The lump in his throat was the size of a grapefruit; he wanted to scream, to kick, to jump out of bed and run on the beach; the salty wind blowing over his body, the warm ocean water sloshing at his feet. The anger that had been building all afternoon rose to the surface and bubbled out of his control. Looking for the nearest object he could find, Antonio picked up the pitcher of water from his bed tray and hurled it against the far wall. It exploded with a splash as water dripped down the wall and pooled on the floor. He pushed the bed tray with all his strength sending it rolling across the room and crashing into the recliner chair; it tipped over and fell to the floor. Breathing heavily, his heart racing Antonio leaned back against the pillow and clenched his eyes closed; tears filled his eyes as they slowly slid down his cheeks. Ricardo brought Gabi a cup of tea. She sat silently on the bed staring out the front window of the loft. "Gabi?" Ricardo prompted her as he held out the cup. Gabi managed a smile and accepted the hot mug. "I’m so glad you’re alright, baby. I don’t know what I would have done if anything happened to you." Ricardo sat down next to her and slid his arm behind her back; he propped himself up on his elbow. "So you’re sure the police took all the information you had on these scum?" Gabi nodded distractedly. "And you told them everything about exactly how it happened?" "Yes, Ricardo," she moaned with irritation. All she wanted to do was go back to the hospital and see Antonio; Ricardo had insisted she spend the night with him at the loft; he didn’t want her to be alone after her ordeal. "I told them everything." "Okay," he assented. "I just want to make sure we find these guys Gabi. They have to pay for what they did to you and Antonio." "They didn’t do anything to me, Ricardo. I’m fine," Gabi snapped. "They shot Antonio. They didn’t do anything to me. He wouldn’t let them." She dissolved into tears and the hand that held her mug began to shake. Ricardo extracted the ceramic cup from her fingers and placed it on the nightstand. Taking her into his arms, he gently smoothed her hair. "He wouldn’t let them hurt me," she sobbed, "he was protecting me." "I know. I know," Ricardo assured her. "It’s okay, Gabi. Antonio’s going to be okay." "You don’t know that. You can’t say that." Gabi wiped away her tears and pulled herself from Ricardo’s arms. "It’s all my fault." She broke down into hysterics and it was all he could do to hold her as her body wracked with sobs. She cried for what seemed like an hour before he looked down to find that she had exhausted herself and fallen asleep in his arms. Ricardo eased her back onto the bed and settled her body into a comfortable position. He covered her with the blanket and kissed her forehead; she looked so fragile that it broke his heart to think of what could have happened to her today. Ricardo jumped from the bed as his pager began to beep loudly; he wanted to catch it before it woke Gabi. It was an emergency page from the station and he returned the call in the kitchen. There had been a murder in Sunset Beach; an unidentified body found under the pier; the chief wanted him in ASAP. He scribbled a quick note for Gabi and told her he may not be back all night. Leaving her with a kiss and the note, he headed out the door. Gabi screamed out and bolted upright in bed. The nightmare was so vivid and real; it scared her to her very core. The loft was dark except for the small light beside the bed. Gabi leaned over and squinted at the clock. 2:35 am. "Ricardo?" she called out just as her hand found the note on his pillow. As soon as she read it, she was as awake as if she had slept an entire night. Ricardo had gone to work for a murder investigation; if he were home by this time tomorrow, he would be lucky. She flew out of bed and ran to the bathroom to change her clothes; she’d had a nightmare about Antonio and she knew she had to see him. The clock ticked loudly as Antonio lie in his darkened room; the flurry of activity outside his room had dulled to a quiet murmur. It was almost 3 am and he was wide-awake. After the nurse came in to determine the source of the crashing, they had increased his sedative and he had fallen fast asleep. Now he lay awake in the dark staring at the lifeless limbs attached to his body. He had yet to touch them; to see for himself that they were still really there. Slowly, he reached out his arm and stretched his fingers; his palm carefully pressed against his thigh; he felt nothing. Antonio’s eyebrows furrowed in aggravation, his anger resurfaced and he grew frustrated. He began thumping his hand against his leg, slowly at first then faster and harder. "Damn it, damn it," he repeated over and over as tears filled his eyes. One final hard hit and he sat back against the pillow and raked his hands through his hair; he looked out his door and saw Gabi speaking with the nurse. Gabi nodded to the nurse, turned around and made her way quietly into his room. Because it was darkened, she couldn’t see that Antonio had his eyes open and was watching her the whole time. He couldn’t believe she was here in the middle of the night. He considered faking sleep; he wasn’t ready to see her. Gabi stepped up beside his bed as their eyes met for the first time since he passed out after being shot. Gabi reached down and took his warm, strong hand in hers. Her touch made his skin tingle and he had to close his eyes. "Antonio?" she whispered as she pushed the hair off his forehead and leaned over to kiss it. "Are you awake?" "Gabi, what are you doing here?" He didn’t yet look back at her; he needed to blink away the moisture first. "It’s so late." "I came to see you," she replied as she sat down next to his bed and placed her other hand over his. "How are you?" "You should be home sleeping, Gabi. Where’s Ricardo?" He shifted his upper body away from her slightly. Aware of his movement, Gabi dropped her eyes. "He was called in to work. I don’t want to sleep, Antonio. I want to be with you." He dared to raise his eyes to her; she looked so beautiful as she glanced up at him with love. "I’m so sorry," she whispered in an emotion-filled voice. "Don’t be sorry, Gabi. It’s not your fault." "Yes, it is. From the very beginning, it’s been my fault." Gabi took one hand and brushed away the tears that had begun to fall. "If I hadn’t…if I." "Gabi," Antonio interrupted her gently. "Let’s not do this okay? It doesn’t matter, we can’t go back…it happened." "If I hadn’t come to see you this morning. If I hadn’t jumped to conclusions about you and Ashley," Gabi remarked sadly. "I asked you to come with me, Gabi, to take your car." "But I started the argument, Antonio. I distracted you," she pleaded. "If you hadn’t stopped the car…" "I tried to make a joke out of it. I pushed you too far and I was wrong." Antonio looked down at his legs, Gabi’s eyes followed. "It happened Gabi and I would do it again. I would do everything the same." "No, Antonio," she murmured. "I would never let anyone hurt you, Gabi. I wasn’t going to let him…rape you." "And look what I’ve done to you." Gabi broke down sobbing and Antonio placed his hand lovingly against her cheek. "You didn’t do this, Gabi. Look at me." She raised her eyes. "The gunman did this…not you." "Because of me he did it," she cried. "Because of me you’ll neve…." Her voice trailed off and Antonio looked quickly away. "Oh, Antonio. I’m so sorry." "It’s alright, Gabi," he assured her weakly. "The sooner I get used to saying and hearing it, the better off I’ll be. I’m…I’m never going to walk again." Gabi shook her head vehemently. "Gabi. I won’t walk again. Ever." "Antonio." "You have to accept it. I have to accept it," he instructed her. Gabi climbed onto the bed and sat beside him. She held his left hand on her lap and stroked his hair back with her left hand. "We’ll get through this together, Antonio." She smiled softly but he didn’t return it. "No," he stated simply. The smile faded from her lips. "What do you mean, no?" Antonio placed his right hand on top of where her right hand held his and took a deep breath. "I don’t want you to…give up your life for me." Gabi sat back in shock. "Give up my life? Antonio, I won’t be giving up my life to be with you. I love you," she said the words slowly and deliberately. I don’t love you any less because you can’t walk." "What kind of man will I be, Gabi? What kind of…." He couldn’t bring himself to say the word husband because he didn’t want Gabi to hang on to a dream. "You’ll be you, Antonio," Gabi assured him as she held his hand tightly. "You’ll be loving and caring, giving and kind. You’re the same man, Antonio, heart and soul." "My body?" he questioned her softly. "What about that, Gabi…I don’t want you having to take care of me for the rest of my life." "I want to Antonio," she urged him tenderly. "I want to be with you." Antonio shook his head. "You can have a life, a real life, with Ricardo." Gabi’s eyes widened in fear; he couldn’t be pushing her away again, not now. "He can be what you need. He can make you happy." Gabi’s eyes glistened with tears. "YOU will make me happy." "He can do things for you that I can’t…things that I’ll never be able to do," Antonio told her. "There’s nothing that I want him to do for me that you can’t, Antonio. Nothing." Their eyes met softly and his heart was breaking. "You say that now," he began as he shook his head. "Antonio," she scolded him. "You know I don’t believe that." Antonio was miserable thinking of the kind of life that he would give Gabi. Taking care of him, pushing him around in a wheelchair forever; the very idea made him wish the bullet had indeed taken his life. "Ricardo can walk on the beach with you, he can carry the groceries in for you, drive when you go places. He can walk into a room and…" "Antonio," she interrupted him. "Those aren’t things that matter, you know that." Antonio was silent for a few seconds. Gabi searched his eyes and was nearly shattered by the pain she saw. "He can make love to you, Gabi." He paused. "I…I can’t make love to you." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat quietly. Gabi’s heart sank to her toes. "Antonio, you know that I love you, don’t you?" He shook his head without looking up. "Do you love me?" Antonio raised his head and looked into her deep, onyx eyes. "Of course I do, Gabi." Gabi smiled at him. "Tell me." Antonio crinkled his eyebrows in confusion. "Tell me that you love me." Antonio’s dark brown eyes shone as he looked directly into her soul. "I love you, Gabi." "Now kiss me," she instructed him as she leaned close. "Kiss me." Antonio licked his lips quickly as Gabi inched closer. Their lips met tenderly, delicately as all the emotion of the day flooded through each of them. Antonio closed his eyes and tilted his head to accept her; Gabi pushed her chest gently against his muscular torso and slipped her arms around his shoulders. Antonio’s hands grabbed onto her waist as he pulled her deeper into the kiss. His tongue slipped slowly inside her mouth wanting to quench the craving he had for the sweet taste of her. Gabi met his probing tongue and their breath mingled as their hearts soared. Pulling back breathlessly, Gabi smiled and leaned her forehead against his. "You just made love to me," she whispered. Antonio started to speak but Gabi raised a finger to his swollen lips. "There are lots of ways to make love, Antonio. We’ll just have to find other ways." Antonio shook his head slowly. "I…I can never give you a baby, Gabi," he said quietly. "We’ll never have a family together." "Antonio, stop," she commanded him tenderly. "I love you. I want to be with you. All I need is you. Please, let me love you." Without waiting for his answer, Gabi pulled her legs up on the bed next to his and snuggled down against his chest. Antonio wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close; the fragrant smell of her hair filled his senses. He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. Gabi slipped her arm carefully across his stomach careful not to touch his healing wound. They held each other tightly and both drifted off to sleep. Gabi was dreaming of becoming Antonio’s wife; Antonio was determining how to convince Ricardo to marry Gabi as soon as possible.
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