Second Chances: Chapter 44



THE MISSION

Antonio stood before the large wooden doors. He hadn’t been back to the mission since the day he left the priesthood. His heart was heavy as he pulled the door open. As he entered the vestibule, a familiar calm eased over him. The serenity that he had always found in this holy place was still present as he walked slowly into the church.

Everything around him was so peaceful, so soothing. His eyes took it all in as he reverently recalled his days here as a priest. It had been so fulfilling for him to answer his calling. Fulfilling until the day he met Gabi Martinez. He had known from the moment he met her that she would have a place in his life. He had no idea then just how important that place would be.

He breathed heavily as he made his way into a pew and knelt silently. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his rosary.

He closed his eyes as he rolled the beads in his fingers. He used to give penance to his parishioners for betraying their spouses, for breaking their wedding vows. But no penance would ever make up for the pain and anguish he had caused Gabi’s heart with his infidelity.

Antonio prayed silently. He prayed for forgiveness for not resisting the temptation of another woman. He prayed for understanding of what tempted him in the first place. He prayed for strength to accept whatever Gabi’s decision about their future might be. He prayed for God to watch over Gabi and keep her safe without him. He prayed that God bless his sons, Michael and the baby.

Antonio opened his eyes as he stood from the pew. He walked over and lit three candles. One for Gabi, one for Michael and one for the baby. He stood before the altar for a few moments then made the sign of the cross and turned to leave.


THE TOWNHOUSE

Gabi turned away from the door as she wiped her eyes. She felt like she was in a nightmare, her entire world had come crashing down around her. The husband she loved more than her own life had betrayed her with another woman. The very thought of his lips, his hands, his body touching another woman made her physically ill. She ran into the bathroom and was immediately sick.

Gabi sat back against the wall and pushed the hair off her forehead. She didn’t know what to do. She needed to distract herself from images that burned her heart. She stood slowly and walked to the kitchen. She spotted the picnic basket she had packed sitting on the counter. She walked over and slid her hand gently across the top. Opening it up, she pulled out her preparations for her baby picnic with Antonio. She had filled the basket with blue paper plates and napkins, blue plastic wine glasses and a basket of blueberries.

Gabi started to laugh, and then began to cry. She threw the basket of blueberries against the wall and watched it smash into a blue blob. She ran from the kitchen up to the bedroom. She threw herself on the bed and sobbed into her pillow.

Gabi curled up on her side. She placed her hand against her belly as she reached over to turn on the radio. The song spoke for her soul.


Excerpt from To Love You More, Celine Dion ... Let’s Talk About Love

Take me, back into the arms I love

Need me, like you did before

Touch me once again

And remember when

There was no one that you wanted more

Don’t go, you know you will break my heart

She won’t, love you like I will

I’m the one who’ll stay

When she walks away

And you know I’ll be standing here still

Chorus:

I’ll be waiting for you

Here inside my heart

I’m the one who wants to love you more

You will see I can give you

Everything you need

Let me be the one to love you more

See me, as if you never knew

Hold me, so you can’t let go

Just believe in me

I will make you see

All the things that your heart needs to know

Chorus

And some way, all the love that

We had can be saved

Whatever it takes, we’ll find a way

Gabi rolled over and grabbed Antonio’s pillow. She could smell his scent as if he had just gotten out of bed. She hugged it tightly to her chest.

She never imagined that Antonio would ever love anyone but her. Did he love Heather? Would he choose her over Gabi? Gabi’s head ached at the thought. She closed her eyes and drifted off to an exhausted sleep. She dreamt about the day she and Antonio were married.


BEN & MARIA’S

"Antonio?" Maria said as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes fell to the suitcase he was holding.

"I didn’t know where else to go, Maria." Antonio walked in to the living room and set down his suitcase. "I didn’t want to go too far from Gabi."

Maria closed the door quickly. "Antonio, what happened? Where’s Gabi?" Maria was concerned, her brother looked like a broken man.

Antonio shook his head miserably and looked at his sister. "Maria, I...I did something horrible." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. "I ruined my marriage."

"What?" Maria shrieked. "Antonio, that doesn’t make any sense. What do you mean you ruined your marriage." She shook her head in confusion. "What did you do?"

"I need a drink," Antonio stood and walked to the bar cart. He poured himself a double scotch.

"Since when do you drink, Antonio?" Maria said softly. "What happened?"

Antonio swallowed the entire glass in one swift drink. Maria watched her brother pour himself another drink that disappeared as quickly as the first. The alcohol burned his empty stomach and he almost felt like he was going to be sick. He set the glass down and slumped into the chair.

"Have you ever done something that made absolutely no sense and by doing it, you risked everything…EVERYTHING that matters to you?" Antonio stared at the floor.

"Antonio! It would be easier if you just told..." Maria began with a laugh.

"I cheated on Gabi," he said softly. He never raised his eyes.

Maria’s mouth fell open in disbelief. "You...what?"

Antonio leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "I cheated on her, Maria."

Maria stood up and walked past her brother. She paced the room as her anger and confusion grew. "Why, Antonio? Why would you do that?" As Antonio began to answer, she interrupted. "This is insane, Antonio. It doesn’t make any sense. You and Gabi…you’re…I don’t know anyone as in love as the two of you."

"I know, Maria," he said sadly.

Maria turned and glared at her brother. "You know!" she said furiously. "You know! How could you hurt her like that? Why would you hurt her like that? Antonio!" Maria was angry.

"Maria, it just happened. I didn’t sleep with her, we just...we almost slept together," his voice cracked.

"Oh, almost. Well that’s different!" Maria stared at him with disgust. "Who are you, Antonio, that you would cheat on your wife? After everything you gave up to be with her, after all the two of you have been through. Everything with Ricardo…losing Michael." Maria stopped suddenly. "My God, Antonio, she’s six months pregnant!"

Antonio felt tears stinging his eyes but wouldn’t allow himself to give in to them. Maria was right and the truth hurt.

"Who was she, Antonio?" Maria asked angrily. Antonio didn’t answer. "Don’t even tell me you don’t know her name!"

"It was Heather," Antonio conceded quietly.

"Heather!" Maria said shaking her head. "So, Gabi was right all along."

Antonio’s head snapped up. "What do you mean she was right?"

"Well, while you were lusting after Heather, Gabi was feeling self-conscious and worried about you working with someone like her. And what did I tell her? I told her she was crazy, that you only had eyes for her, you loved her and only her."

"I don’t love Heather, Maria. I..."

"No, you just wanted to sleep with her." The words stung Antonio. He hated what this was doing to Maria. She had always held him in such high regard and now he was ruining that, too. "What’s the matter with you, Antonio? Did you learn nothing from watching Daddy run around on Mama? Didn’t you see what that did to her?"

"It’s not like that, Maria. I told you, we didn’t sleep together," Antonio tried to defend himself. "I just got caught up in the moment."

"The moment? You’re wrong, Antonio, it’s exactly like that. You have no self control, just like Daddy," Maria seethed. "I thought you were a better person, Antonio. A better man. My God, you were a priest." She stopped and glared directly into his eyes. "But then, you broke that vow, too, didn’t you?"

Antonio’s eyes reflected the pain her statement caused, but it was true and he couldn’t deny it. He started to speak.

"I’m going to see Gabi," Maria interrupted him. "I don’t want her to be alone." She walked to Antonio’s side and put her hand on his shoulder. "You can stay here, Antonio because you’re my brother." She paused. "But right now I don’t think much of you as a man." She walked out the patio door to go to Gabi.

Antonio’s eyes filled with tears as he hung his head in shame. Maria was right...he was just like his father. What he didn’t understand was why.

Antonio stood and walked over to his suitcase. He opened it and pulled out the videotape. He placed it in the VCR and turned on the television. The screen filled with the fuzzy picture of Antonio’s son. Antonio knelt before the set and placed his hand against the thumping blur in the middle of the picture. He could make out the baby’s nose and mouth. It almost looked like the baby was waving at him. Antonio’s heart broke as he was hit with the realization that he might not see his son be born, smile for the first time, cut his first tooth or take his first step - all because Antonio had been weak.

He watched the video and silently cried.


THE TOWNHOUSE

Gabi heard the doorbell and jumped out of bed. She ran down the stairs as fast as a pregnant woman could. "Antonio," she called out her heart beating faster as she threw the door open.

When she saw Maria standing on the porch, her entire resolve crumbled as she began to sob heavily. Maria rushed to hug her as Gabi slumped into her arms and fell to the floor. Maria sat down with her and pushed Gabi’s hair off her face as she whispered "Shh." Gabi held on to her tightly as Maria rubbed her back. Tears slipped from Maria’s eyes as she held her sister-in-law, her friend whose life was falling apart because of something her brother had done.


Ricardo stood outside the patio doors watching his sister and Gabi at the front door. He knew immediately that Antonio hadn’t been able to keep his secret. Ricardo smiled at Antonio’s overwhelming conscience even as his heart broke to see Gabi so distraught. He turned and slipped away unnoticed.

...Chapter 43... ...index... ...Chapter 45...