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THE LOFT
When a little of his strength returned, Antonio rolled off Gabi, his pulse pounding and his breathing in deep pants. He moved onto his back as Gabi draped her leg across his lower abdomen, her silky hair falling across his naked chest, her heart raging frantically against him. Antonio lifted a shaking hand to smooth her hair off her face then tipped her chin so that he could gaze into her eyes. "Is it always like this?" he whispered, his eyes still dark with passion. Gabi smiled shyly as his strong hand delicately caressed her cheek. "Always this incredible when we make love…like it’s the first time?" "Yes," her voice was soft as tears of pure confession stung her eyes. She rubbed her cheek against his hard chest, brushing them away in what felt to Antonio like a tender caress. "Always," she answered drawing a shattered breath. Hearing the sound of her voice, Antonio pulled her tightly against him and soothed her, gently rubbing his warm hand in a large circle on her back. Sobs broke from her chest as she clung desperately to his body; her emotions in a free fall from all that had taken place in the last weeks. "Gabi," he queried gently as her tears soaked his chest. "Why are you crying? Please don’t cry." His voice was pleading softly as he attempted to lift her to eye level. "Gabi?" "I came so close to losing you," her voice broke as she spoke. "I couldn’t go on without you, Antonio. I wouldn’t want to live." Tears spilled from her eyes as her chest heaved with sobs. Overwhelmed by the intensity of her response, Antonio drew her quickly to him, her hands sliding over the rigged muscles of his chest as they flinched reflexively in response. Gabi lifted her head, her eyes wet and her heart pounding. She leaned up and over him as her mouth commanded his in a kiss filled with wild hunger and raging desire. Gabi’s yielding to him was Antonio’s undoing as he rolled her onto her back and devoured her with his mouth, claimed her with his hands and then his body. They made love over and over, their bodies becoming one, their souls uniting. Finally exhausted, Gabi nestled in Antonio’s sinewy embrace and closed her eyes. He stroked her hair softly and admired the small smile on her lips knowing that it was his doing, his love that made her so happy. Surrendering to his own depletion, Antonio held her tightly and fell asleep. Gabi had been at work for almost three hours when the phone rang. Antonio set down his book and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" "Mr. Torres?" the woman’s voice asked, assuming that the man answering the phone was Gabi’s husband. "Uh, yes," he responded. "This is your wife’s doctor’s office," she paused to check Gabi’s chart. "Doctor’s office?" His heart began to pound…was Gabi ill? He couldn’t stand the thought. "Yes," the nurse replied. "Dr. Bailey – your wife’s obstetrician." Obstetrician. In a few short seconds the word materialized in his mind. "We were just calling to let Gabi know that her blood test results were normal and we will see her at her third month appointment." "Third month," he repeated apprehensively. "Yes," the nurse was becoming agitated with his confusion. "The third month of her pregnancy…maybe I should call back later and speak to your wife." "No," he said quickly. "That’s okay…I…I will," his voice trailed off and he grabbed the table to support his weight. "I’ll give her the message." "Thank you," the woman said questioningly. Antonio hung up the phone in stunned silence. Gabi was pregnant…Gabi was pregnant. Putting his hand over his chest, he felt his heart swell with pride. His wife was having a baby…but why hadn’t she told him? The test results…she must have been waiting for the test results to come back before she told him. Suddenly, it hit him. Sadly, he realized that he had probably known before the accident and now, once again, it was another fact he simply didn’t remember. Surely that would have been something Gabi could have reminded him of. He was angry for a brief instant before his heart softened at the thought of Gabi carrying his child. Realizing how truly blessed he had been to have a second chance at his life on earth, he left the loft and strode purposefully toward the place he knew he must visit to give thanks. St. Joseph’s Mission. THE MISSION Standing outside the large, heavy doors, Antonio was washed in a feeling of familiarity. It was as if he had entered the building a thousand times before. His hand grasped the brass handle and a charge of electricity shot through his arm. Pulling the door open, he stepped into the holy foyer. The chapel was empty as Antonio made his way silently to the altar. His eyes drew to the crucifix behind the altar and a vision flashed through his mind. Closing his eyes, he saw himself dressed in a white robe, kneeling at an altar as a holy man stood before him bestowing words he could not hear. Antonio opened his eyes hastily as his breathing quickened. Feeling the need to finish the thought, he closed his eyes again. This time he was the holy man standing before Gabi and a man whose face he could not see. Gabi was wearing a wedding gown holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling happily. She and the man standing beside her were looking up to Antonio anticipating his actions. Antonio forced his eyes open as he clutched the railing of the altar steps. His brow was beaded with perspiration and he felt like his legs were going to give way. Stepping back to the first pew, he flopped himself down and struggled to catch his breath. What were these visions…what did they mean? Why had Gabi been marrying another man? The room was stifling and he was suffocating. Pushing himself roughly off the pew, he stumbled back down the aisle and started to exit the building. His head turned quickly and his eyes looked down a long hallway. He wanted to leave, to run back home and forget he even came here, but his curiosity took him down the hall. Weaving his way down the maze of halls, images flashed in his eyes too quickly for him to process: his mother, his sister, Ricardo and Gabi. A kaleidoscope of pictures twisted his vision as he held the walls for support. He came to a stop in front of a black door with a gold cross hanging on it. His hand trembled fiercely as he tentatively pushed the door open. Antonio stepped cautiously into the small, bland room. There was something so familiar…so comfortable about this room. His head turned to the dresser and his eyes fell to the white slip of plastic lying on the edge. Reaching out, he took the object into his hand fingering what appeared to be a clerical collar. Turning around to the bed, his eyes fell to the small nightstand. Sliding his feet in order to move closer, he opened the drawer and found a black bible and rosary beads inside. His strong hand slid over the leather cover and pulled it from its resting place. Antonio sat down on the bed as his eyes and hands surveyed the holy book. His heart was beating so fast and strong, he almost felt as if he would lose consciousness. His finger slipped underneath the front cover and lifted it. As his eyes landed on the words, a short, deep moan escaped his chest…’Father Antonio Torres’ was written in his handwriting on the top corner of the first page. THE STATION Gabi turned the corner without looking and ran smack into Ricardo. The large stack of files she carried wafted to the floor as her hands grabbed his arms to steady herself. Ricardo’s hands landed on her hips as he kept her from falling to the floor. "Whoa," he roared wildly. "Where’s the fire?" "I’m sorry, Ricardo," she apologized profusely as she pulled himself from his hands and squatted to the floor to retrieve the papers. "I was just walking and thinking at the same time and not watching where I was going." Ricardo knelt beside her and helped her straighten the files. "What in the world were you thinking about?" A wicked smile crossed her lips as she recalled her lovemaking with Antonio the night before. Ricardo raised his eyes when she didn’t answer and immediately read her mind. "Oh," he said quietly. "I get it." Gabi blushed as she stood and straightened her skirt. "Well," she cleared her throat. "I should probably get back to work." She started to walk away when Ricardo called her name. She turned around and her eyes questioned him. "I just wanted to tell you that I spoke to my lawyer and he’s working on the paperwork now." Ricardo smiled softly. "I just thought you’d want to know." "Thank you," she smiled as she stepped toward him. "Thank you for that and for finding Antonio last night and sending him home." Gabi hugged Ricardo, taking him by surprise. He closed his eyes as he inhaled her sweet scent. She pulled away from him quickly and he swallowed hard. "I have to go." Ricardo watched as she strolled down the hall. He knew he was doing the right thing giving her to Antonio, but he would have given anything to keep her as his wife. He still loved her. THE LOFT Gabi ran in the door. "Antonio," she called out. She set down her bag and when he didn’t answer, she walked into the bathroom to see if he was there. Turning back into the main room she saw him sitting in the corner, staring out the window. "Antonio, didn’t you hear me come in?" She moved toward him but he remained eerily still. As she reached for his shoulder, she saw the black book sitting on his lap. Her hand froze and her breath caught as she recognized his bible from the Mission. Antonio turned his head, the look in his eyes frightening her. "Father Antonio Torres," he said quietly as he placed his hand on the bible. "You knew," he said accusingly, referring to his question after his run in with the woman on the beach. "Why didn’t you tell me?" His words were angry and Gabi felt tears sting her eyes. "I...I couldn’t," she stammered weakly. "Because of the baby?" Gabi’s eyes widened and she placed her hand over her stomach. "Is that why I’m not a priest anymore?" Her heart jumped. "How did you find out about the baby?" she whispered. "I’ve found out a lot today, Gabi," he offered boldly. "Your doctor’s office called about your tests. She assumed I knew, so she told me you were pregnant." He raised his eyes to her, but they weren’t happy. "I was so excited…I felt so lucky that I was going to be a father and that God had saved me from the accident to be with you and our child. So, I decided to go to St. Joseph’s and say thank you." Gabi closed her eyes as Antonio searched her expression. "As soon as I went in, it started." "What started," she asked softly. "I had visions…well, I guess they were memories." He shook his head in confusion. "I ended up in this small bedroom." Gabi’s heart fluttered at the mention of the room where they had made love. "And I found this collar and the bible…with my name in it." Gabi stepped backwards and sat on the edge of the bed. Antonio stood from the chair and walked over to her. Kneeling in front of her, he took her hands in his. "Why didn’t you tell me, Gabi? About the baby and that I was a priest?" His broken, pleading voice tore at her heart. "Why?" "Because I wasn’t supposed to," she sobbed. "The doctor said not to…to let you remember on your own." Gabi buried her head in her hands. "I’m sorry." Antonio moved up onto the bed beside her and took her in his arms. Gabi wrapped her arms around his waist and held her cheek against his chest. He held her tightly and slipped his hand carefully against her stomach. Gabi tilted her head back to look into his eyes, which were now filled with tears. "A baby, Gabi." He smiled and a tear slipped down his cheek. "You should have told me." "I know," she relented as she wiped his tear away. "I’m sorry." Antonio pulled himself away from her and stood up. "I need to go for a walk," he announced leaving her alone on the bed. "I won’t be long." "Antonio," she protested. "Please let me come with you." She started to stand and he turned to face her. "I need to be alone, Gabi. I need to get used to all this." He smiled softly. "I promise I won’t be long…I just need some fresh air." He returned to the bed and deposited a tender kiss on her lips. "I know that I love you, I don’t doubt that." Gabi’s eyes sparkled as she looked up at him. "I’ll be back soon." Antonio walked along the dark beach listening to the crashing waves. His hands were in his pockets as he strolled along staring at his feet. He had been a priest but given it up for Gabi and their baby. If he gave it up because she was pregnant, then he and Gabi must have been…his mind stopped the thought. Whatever had happened, it was done. If he hadn’t been able to remain true to his vows, there must have been a very good reason. It dawned on him like the morning sun…Gabi. Obviously, he had fallen in love with her and she with him. He knew she was a wonderful woman who loved him deeply. They were married and were going to have a baby and that was all that mattered. There was no point in beleaguering his past choices – his future was all he wanted. Realizing he had been away from Gabi for some time, he decided to go back home. Turning around to head back, his gaze fell to the shiny, black gun pointed directly at his head.
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