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THE MISSION
Antonio leaned forward placing his elbows on the bed and brought his hands up, palms together, his thumbs supporting his chin. His eyes glazed over as he stared straight ahead, away from Gabi. He was silent for a moment and then finally spoke. "I think that’s great, Gabi. Ricardo must be very happy." His voice was quiet and flat. His eyes fell to the bed and he blinked away the tears he felt. "But, why did you come here to tell me?" Gabi reached her hand up and wrapped her fingers around his. "It’s your baby, Antonio," she said simply. Antonio turned his head to the side and raised his eyes to Gabi. She looked at her lap. "It’s your baby," she repeated in a whisper. "Are you sure?" Gabi’s head popped up and her eyes squinted as if his words had hurt her. "It’s not…" He didn’t mean to be callous, but she was married to and, he thought, sleeping with Ricardo. "Antonio." Her voice raised and he could hear the pain. "Of course I’m sure." Antonio looked away from her, still not believing. "Ricardo and I haven’t slept together since before his stroke." "But I saw you..." he stopped and Gabi looked at him with confusion. "I came to the loft the morning after you were at the beach, to make sure you were okay. I saw you get out of bed dressed in…" He couldn’t make himself say it. "I assumed." "You assumed wrong," she corrected him with some embarrassment. Antonio was struck with sudden realization. "Is that what...that night, when I saw you. You wouldn’t talk to me…did you know then?" Gabi shook her head slowly. "Gabi, that was over a week ago. Why didn’t you tell me?" His voice was not soft, but laced with agitation. "I couldn’t, Antonio." Gabi was surprised by his tone. "Why couldn’t you, Gabi?" He looked into her eyes. "Were you afraid I would be mad?" "No. I wasn’t going to tell you, Antonio," she relented. "Ever?" His voice cracked with the word as she looked away from him. "What," he chuckled nervously. "Were you going to make Ricardo believe it…" his voice trailed off when he saw Gabi begin to cry. "Gabi?" Gabi wrapped her arms over their baby. "I tried to get him to make love to me...but he wouldn’t." Antonio sat back on his heels and put his hands against his thighs. "I thought if I could make him sleep with me, he would think that was when I got pregnant." "And what about me?" Antonio’s heart was pounding as he glared at Gabi waiting for her to answer. "You were going to lie to me – and Ricardo – for the rest of our lives? You were going to let me believe that my child was…was his?" Gabi swallowed hard as Antonio stared at her angrily. "How could you do that to me?" Gabi had never been on the receiving end of Antonio’s anger before. A tear slipped from his eye and Gabi reached out to touch him. He pulled his head back from her hand and stood up. Gabi’s arm recoiled slowly as Antonio paced the room with his hands on his hips. "So you’re here, tonight, to tell me you’re pregnant with my baby only because my brother wouldn’t make love to you so you could tell him it was his?" His tone was accusing and harsh. Gabi hung her head as she realized just how much she had hurt him. "Antonio," she began feebly. "I couldn’t tell you because you’re a priest and…" "Because I’m a priest?" he said incredulously. "A priest who slept with you and got you pregnant," he stopped and dropped his head. "You’re my brother’s wife and you’re carrying my child, Gabi. What kind of a priest does that make me?" Gabi’s heart broke at the sadness and disappointment in his voice. "Oh, Antonio." Gabi climbed off the bed and stepped toward him. He turned away from her to face out the window. She wanted to touch him, to hold him in her arms, but he was pulling away from her. "How far along are you?" he asked without turning around. "Four weeks." Gabi placed her hand over her stomach again. Antonio did the math in a split second. "The night we spent here?" "Yes," she replied softly. Antonio ran his hands roughly through his hair and let out a loud sigh. "I’m sorry, Antonio." Her voice was trembling as much as her body. She had expected him to react much differently and his coldness was scaring her. "Why are you sorry, Gabi? It’s as much my fault as it is yours." He still hadn’t turned to look at her. "I don’t consider it a fault, Antonio," she said defensively. "I consider it a blessing." "So much of a blessing that you were going to lie about it?" His words cut through her like a knife. They weakened her so much she had to back up to the bed and sit down. "I love you, Gabi," he said as he turned around. "I love you so much it kills me not to be with you and you weren’t even going to tell me that we are going to have a baby." His anger was returning and Gabi’s eyes stung with tears. "For the rest of my life, I would’ve been calling my son or daughter my nephew or niece. When I looked into the eyes of MY child, I would have believed it was my brother’s." Gabi’s tears slid freely now. "How could you deny me that, Gabi? Why would you do that?" A sob escaped her throat as she answered him. "Because you’re obligated to the church and God, Antonio and I wouldn’t be responsible for taking you away from that." She began to cry heavily as she brushed away her tears. "I wouldn’t let you leave the church because you thought you had to and then end up hating me and the baby because of it." "Leaving the church is my decision, Gabi." He moved across the room closer to her. "My decision and I have a right to know the truth." "I was trying to protect you," she shouted, startling him. "I love you so much that I wanted you to be happy…to be the priest you always wanted to be, Antonio." She sobbed a few times. "I can’t have you in my life, but I can have this part of you." Gabi placed her hand on her stomach. "This little part of you and me, forever." Antonio’s anger crumbled as he saw Gabi cradling herself in her arms. Her hand was covering their baby…a baby that had been created right in this very room out of their deep love for one another. Antonio began to cry as he fell to his knees in front of the bed. He placed his head in Gabi’s lap and his arms around her waist. Gabi’s breath caught as Antonio clung on to her tightly and his tears fell to her lap. She caressed his hair softy and allowed him to release all his emotions onto her. Gabi had been selfish and cruel by planning to keep Antonio’s baby from him. She thought, at the time, that it was the right thing to do. But now, seeing his reaction, his anger and hurt, she knew she had made a serious misjudgment. Antonio knew that he had pushed Gabi to make the decision to keep the baby from him. He had told her over and over how he was committed to the church and, as much as he loved her, he could never completely give that up for her. But now, their lives were not the only two affected by his decision. Gabi was carrying his baby and, yet again, everything had changed drastically. Antonio pushed himself up off Gabi’s lap and looked deep into her eyes. Gabi wiped his tear soaked cheek with her fingers. One of the things she loved most about him was that he was never afraid to show his true emotions in front of her. Gabi smiled at him as her own eyes watered. Antonio touched her cheek softly and then brought his hand down and placed it gently against her stomach. Gabi placed her hand over his. "Oh, Gabi," he spoke at last. "A baby." He smiled as he held his strong hand over their child. "I know," she whispered. "Our baby." Antonio leaned up and kissed her with the tenderest kiss she had ever felt. When he pulled away, Gabi’s eyes remained closed and she felt utterly breathless. "I love you," he said quietly. Gabi leaned her forehead against his and opened her eyes. "I love you, too." They sat like that for a few minutes, both looking down at their hands together over her stomach. Gabi ultimately broke the silence with the question they were both dreading. "What are we going to do, Antonio?" "I don’t know, Gabi...I don’t know." Antonio rubbed the back of his neck. Gabi stretched her shoulders and tried to hide a yawn, which did not go unnoticed by Antonio. "I think we should get you home. It’s pretty late." His face registered confusion once again. "Where’s Ricardo?" "He’s in San Francisco until Friday," Gabi replied. "On business." Gabi searched Antonio’s eyes. "Can’t I stay here tonight, with you?" "No, Gabi," he looked around his room. "It wouldn’t be right." Gabi laughed. "It wouldn’t be right to sleep in the room that our child was conceived in." "No," Antonio said, not laughing. "It wouldn’t." The smile left Gabi’s lips and she regretted that she had said it in the first place. This was Antonio’s Mission, after all. They never should have made love here to begin with - but Gabi was glad they had. "I’m sorry, Antonio." "It’s okay, Gabi. I’m just tired," he sighed. "I have a lot on my mind." Gabi nodded in complete understanding as she put her shoes on. "I can get home on my own, Antonio," she offered. "No way," he interjected. "It’s almost 1:30...I’m not letting you walk home alone. Not if it was just you and certainly not with my baby." Gabi smiled shyly. "Come on." Antonio took her hand and led her out into the hall. They walked along the beach hand in hand in silence. Antonio was still in his priestly attire, but it was late and he didn’t anticipate running into anyone. At this moment, he wouldn’t have let go of Gabi’s hand for anything anyway. THE LOFT Gabi unlocked the door and they stepped inside. Antonio looked around Ricardo’s loft and an overwhelming sense of dread washed over him. Ricardo had been through so much in the last months and soon his wife and his brother were going to bring his world crashing down around him once again. Gabi sensed Antonio’s thoughts. "It will all be okay, Antonio." She was trying to convince herself as much as Antonio. "You should get some sleep, Gabi." He was concerned about her and the baby. "Isn’t sleep really important for you now?" "Yes," Gabi smiled. "But I’d sleep better if you would stay here with me." "I can’t," he said quickly. "I’m sorry, but I just need to be alone." He squeezed her hand. "I hope you understand." "I do," she answered. Antonio had been hit with a lot of things in one night that Gabi had been processing for more than a week. As much as she wanted him to stay, she understood his need to be alone and think. "Will you come over tomorrow?" Antonio shook his head. "I have mass at noon," he said with some guilt. "Why don’t I come by later in the afternoon?" "I’ll be here," Gabi smiled. Antonio hung his head and started for the door. "Antonio?" He turned around as Gabi stepped up behind him. "Do you still love me?" Antonio felt a knot in his stomach at the serious question in her voice. "More than ever," he said as he took her in his arms and pressed his lips softly against hers. They kissed tenderly before Antonio pulled himself away. "I really have to go." Gabi smiled at the weakness in his voice she had caused with her kiss. "I’ll see you tomorrow." Gabi walked him out the door and watched him go down the stairs. She locked the door behind her and collapsed onto the bed. It had been a long and particularly emotional night. She was glad Antonio finally knew about the baby…whatever they decided to do, they would do together. Gabi slipped off to sleep with a feeling that everything would work out…Antonio would take care of everything. After leaving Gabi at the loft, Antonio wandered the beach for several hours. His mind was absolutely spinning from the news that Gabi was pregnant. It wasn’t bad enough that Antonio was a priest, no – the woman he loved and who was pregnant with his child was also his brother’s wife. Antonio had no one but himself to blame for the situation he found himself in. From the moment he met Gabi, he had never been able to resist her. As much as he tried to forget his feelings for her, to try to be only a friend, he hadn’t been able to keep her out of his heart – or out of his bed. Antonio had broken his vows to the church repeatedly by loving and making love to Gabi. Worse than that, he made love to her after she was married to Ricardo and now, there was unmistakable proof. THE MISSION Feeling exhausted and sick to his stomach, Antonio made his way back to the Mission. He stood in his room remembering every moment of the night he and Gabi made love there. They had needed each other so badly, their desire so desperate that nothing would have stopped them. Antonio fell onto the bed as Gabi’s words echoed in his head. "I’m pregnant. It’s your baby, Antonio." He closed his eyes and begged for some respite from his reality. His sleep was neither restful nor serene. THE LOFT Gabi was anxious to see Antonio. It was almost 5:00 and he hadn’t shown up or called. She had been busy all day making dinner for the two of them. They had a lot to talk about and she had to admit, she was quite nervous. She paced around for awhile then finally gave in to her impatience and picked up the phone. "Answering machine," she groaned as she hung up. What could be keeping him, she wondered? He had said he would see her in the afternoon and it was almost evening. She went into the bathroom to check her face for the millionth time when she heard a knock at the door. Almost killing herself, she ran through the loft and opened the door. Antonio stood at the door holding two long stemmed red roses in his hand. He was more handsome than Gabi had ever seen him in pleated khaki pants and a navy blue polo shirt. Gabi’s heart pounded in her chest as he grinned at her softly and extended the roses. "Hi," he said gently. "Sorry I’m late." "You are SO forgiven," she replied as she took the roses in her hand. Antonio watched as she lifted them to her nose and inhaled the fragrance. "Two?" she queried. "One for you and one for my baby." Gabi thought her knees were going to buckle right out from underneath her. Antonio kissed her cheek lightly and entered the loft. She closed the door and admired his behind nestled snugly in the khaki pants as he walked into the kitchen. "It smells great in here, Gabi." She watched as he lifted a lid from the stove and peered inside. It was almost as if he were a different man…so relaxed and natural. Gabi heartily approved of the change. "I was wondering where you were," she said as she put the roses into a vase. "I was afraid maybe you wouldn’t make it." "Wouldn’t make it," he spun around quickly. "Why wouldn’t I make it?" He walked up to her and took her into his arms. "I couldn’t stay away." He leaned over and kissed her on the neck sending a shiver down her spine. "Antonio!" she squealed as he nuzzled her ear. "You are Antonio Torres, aren’t you?" She eyed him suspiciously. "What have you done with Antonio Torres?" Antonio laughed as he led Gabi over to a chair at the table. "Why don’t you let me get dinner finished?" Gabi sat in the chair and watched in amazement as Antonio took over putting the food on the plates and setting everything out on the table. He would glance at her frequently with a remarkable smile. Finally, he lit the candles and joined her at the table. "You’ve been staring at me since I got here, Gabi. Is something wrong?" "I’m just wondering what accounts for your mood, Antonio? We’ve got a lot..." "Shhhh," he interrupted her with a stern look. "Not now, Gabi. Let’s just enjoy our dinner and each other, okay?" Gabi sat silently as he poured their wine. "Oh – wait a second, you can’t have that." He pulled the glass away from her hand. "Sorry!" "Antonio, one little sip," she began. "No," he reprimanded her gently. "No wine for the expectant mother." He smiled at her and took her hand. "We’re going to do everything by the book, understand?" "We?" Gabi asked softly with a questioning look. Antonio smiled and put his finger to his lips. "Shhh...later." Gabi was completely intrigued at this point. She didn’t think she would be able to sit still until they talked about what they would do about the baby. For the moment, she forced it out of her mind and settled into her chair to enjoy their dinner and Antonio’s company. As they cleaned off the dishes at the sink, Gabi felt like she would bust if she didn’t ask Antonio what their future held. "Antonio," she began as she set the plates on the counter. Antonio grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up against him. She let out a small gasp as she found his eyes full of longing and desire. "Gabi," he whispered. "I don’t want to talk…please, let’s just not talk now." "Antonio, we have to," she closed her eyes. "It’s not just going to go away." Antonio touched his hand to her cheek to get her to open her eyes. "Gabi," he spoke softly. "We don’t have to make any decisions right now. We have until Friday. Tonight, I just want to be with you." He kissed her deeply. "I love you and for now, that’s all I want to think about. Okay?" Gabi couldn’t deny the look in his eyes. She shook her head softly as he kissed her again. "What I’d really like," he said seductively, "is to see you in that little black teddy." He raised his eyebrows playfully and gave her a sexy smile. Gabi returned his smile as he nudged her toward the closet. Gabi didn’t know what had gotten into him, but she wasn’t complaining. She dutifully pulled the requested clothing from the closet and shut the bathroom door behind her. SAN FRANCISCO "Thanks again, Chief," Ricardo shook his head. "I really appreciate this." "No problem, Ricardo," the Chief smiled. "You know, I haven’t been married all that long myself and I remember those first few months." He elbowed Ricardo knowingly in the side. "Have a good time." Ricardo picked up his suitcase and boarded the plane. He felt bad about how he had left things with Gabi the day before and the Chief hadn’t really needed him there after all. I’ll be home soon, Gabi, he thought to himself as he took his seat. I promise I’ll make it all up to you. He stared out the window of the plane as he fingered his wedding ring with a smile. Gabi had been making an attempt to really begin their marriage and he had put her off out of spite. She took a vow to be his wife and promised not to be unfaithful. Whatever had happened between her and Antonio was over and now, she wanted to make love to Ricardo and truly be his wife. He couldn’t wait to get home and surprise her.
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