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THE LOFT
Gabi entered the loft and flipped on the light. She was incredibly relieved to find Ricardo not home. She couldn’t face him right now. The message light on the answering machine caught her attention. Two messages…both from Ricardo; the first saying he would be late, the second saying that Chief Harris sent him on an overnight stakeout and he would see her in the morning. Gabi sat down on the edge of the bed feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. She placed her hand gently over her stomach and stared off into space. She was pregnant, with Antonio’s baby, married to Ricardo. So many things ran through her mind that she felt an urgent sense of panic rising up. She started breathing rapidly and felt her skin flush. The room was beginning to spin and she couldn’t focus on anything before her. She was losing control and she had to get out. THE BEACH Jumping from the bed, Gabi ran for the door. Tears fell from her eyes as she made her way down the stairs and headed for the beach. The sun had almost completed its descent to the horizon. Gabi walked along the edge of the water as the waves rolled over her bare feet. The warm breeze caressed her skin as she wandered deliberately. When she found a quiet, empty spot near the pier, she backed up from the water and sat down in the sand with her arms wrapped around her knees. Gabi ran her fingers through her hair and held her hand behind her head. Overwhelmed by her situation, she began to sob. She titled her head forward and rested it against her knees. She was crying so hard that she didn’t hear Antonio approach her from behind. He had been walking on the beach when he saw her take her seat in the sand. He watched her from a distance until he saw that she was crying. His strong hand draped over her shoulder and she recognized the touch instantly. Antonio sat down next to her and inclined his head to the side. "Gabi?" His deep voice was soothing and calm. Gabi’s heart broke into even more pieces as he spoke and she sobbed harder. "Gabi." He was rubbing her back with his hand and she shook her head without looking up. She couldn’t speak to him now. As much as she needed him to hold her and comfort her, she wasn’t ready to tell him that she was going to have his baby, if her body cooperated. "Antonio," she whispered. "Please." It was all she could manage between her sobs. Antonio’s entire being longed to take her into his arms and make everything better for her. He wondered if something had happened with Ricardo that upset her; maybe they had a fight. "What’s wrong, Gabi?" Gabi shook her head to convey that she wasn’t going to talk, her head still resting on her folded arms. "Let me help you." Gabi burst out with a laughing sob. She knew it was insensitive given that Antonio knew nothing of the situation, but she though it pathetically amusing he was offering his help to a problem he was so big a part of. "I can’t," she mumbled. Antonio leaned his head closer in order to hear her. "I…" "We’ll fix it, Gabi...whatever it is." Antonio placed his hand firmly against her arm. "I promise." For the first time ever, she felt Antonio’s presence suffocating. As much as she wanted him near her, she needed to get away from him. Gabi turned away as she pushed herself to stand. Antonio was shocked by her action, then stood quickly himself. Gabi grabbed her shoes from the sand and started off without a word. Antonio was confused by her actions. He took a step toward her and grabbed her arm. "Did I do something, Gabi?" His voice was pleading with her. "Are you angry with me?" Gabi stopped and turned around. Antonio was pained by her tear-soaked cheeks. She wouldn’t look into his eyes for fear of breaking down even further. Focusing her eyes on his clerical collar, she reached her hand up and touched his cheek tenderly. Antonio closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. You did something alright, she thought. She pulled her hand away and turned to run off. Antonio opened his eyes to see her already a distance away from him. He could still hear her crying as she headed off the beach. THE LOFT Gabi slammed the door behind her and ran to the bed. She flung herself face down as her entire body trembled. She was gripped by another cramping pain in her abdomen. She rolled to her side and curled into a fetal position. She moaned from the pain as she rubbed where it hurt. A horrible, vicious thought lingered in her subconscious. If she lost the baby, if she miscarried, then no one would ever have to know. She could protect Antonio and herself from Ricardo knowing about their affair. Antonio would never even have to know that she had been pregnant. If he were unaware from the beginning, he wouldn’t have to suffer the loss. In her manic state of mind, it appeared the desired alternative. Her body went numb as she stopped crying and focused on her pain. It was like a knife tearing up her insides. The pain was so severe, she wanted to scream. She stared at the ceiling and tried to disassociate herself from the tiny life that was trying desperately to begin in her body. If she didn’t allow herself to think of it as the life she had created with Antonio, then losing it wouldn’t be so hard to accept. It was just a mistake…a mistake. She closed her eyes as the pain began to fade. Suddenly, she felt overpowering guilt at the thoughts and feelings she had just allowed herself. She loved Antonio more than her own life and she had just willed her body to dispose of the life they had created together. Their deep, intense love for one another had gifted them with a baby. Having his baby would allow her a part of him that would be hers forever, even though she would never have him. She began to panic again as she prayed desperately to God to save her baby. She placed her hands lovingly across her stomach and began to speak softly. "Please God, please. I’m so sorry. Please don’t take my baby. I’ll do anything...anything!" She began to cry again. "Oh God…I promise I’ll love this baby. I’ll be a good mother and give it a good father. Please God, save my baby." Gabi dissolved into tears as she rolled again onto her side. Antonio’s hand gripped the door handle to the loft. He watched closely as Gabi lie on the bed weeping and speaking to herself. He placed his palm against the glass as she rolled to her side and seemed to settle a bit. He had followed her closely from the beach and when he found Ricardo’s car gone, had made his way up the stairs. Gabi appeared extremely distraught and although he didn’t want to leave her alone, she had rejected his assistance outright on the beach. Antonio cared about her too much to force a discussion she wasn’t willing to have. He peered through the window until she appeared to have gone to sleep. Not knowing when Ricardo would be home, he thought it best to head back to the Mission. Gabi knew where to find him if she needed him…and he was certain that in time she would let him know what had her so upset. Reluctantly, he left. Gabi and Antonio were sitting on a bench near the beach. Antonio was holding their daughter on his lap as Gabi tickled her toes. The beautiful little girl had dark hair and eyes, just like her parents. Her smile belonged to her father as Antonio kissed the top of her head. "She’s mine," Ricardo’s voice bellowed as he grabbed for the baby. "No," Antonio shouted not releasing his grip on the child. "Give her to me," Ricardo demanded. The two men struggled with the baby pulling her in two directions at once. Gabi stood too shocked to move as a scream escaped her. "She’s my daughter," Antonio insisted as the little girl began to wail. "She’s MY daughter," Ricardo snarled in return. As if in slow motion, Ricardo and Antonio both released the baby at the same time lunging instead for each other. Her tiny body inched closer and closer to the ground as Gabi reached out her hands in a desperate attempt to catch her before…. Gabi jolted upright gasping for breath. She looked around in a panic as she realized she had been having a nightmare. She took a deep breath to calm herself and found the clock. Ricardo still wasn’t home and it was almost 7. She was well rested considering the emotional turmoil she had been through the night before. Instinctively, she placed her hand over her belly. The doctor had told her it would only be a day or so before her body made its ultimate decision on her baby’s fate. Gabi had an undeniable feeling that her body had in fact already done so. She smiled as she closed her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. She was certain God had heard her prayers and forgiven her moment of insanity. Gabi sat back in bed and began to formulate her plan. If she was going to make Ricardo believe that this baby was his, she was going to have to get him to make love to her soon. She was already three weeks pregnant. Babies were born early all the time, so she didn’t think he would question it if the baby made a slightly earlier than scheduled appearance. Ricardo had been pushing her for weeks to make love, so she knew he wouldn’t object to her advances. In fact, he would probably be so thrilled he would take her immediately. Gabi took a quick shower and pulled out a black silk and lace teddy that she had bought to wear when she was with Antonio. She loved it in the store and knew that he would have found it completely irresistible on her. Unfortunately, she was never able to wear it for him and now it would have to seduce Ricardo for her. She smiled as she realized that wouldn’t be a difficult challenge. Gabi slid herself into the delicate outfit and pulled on the black thigh high stockings that attached to it with garters. As she dressed, she imagined that she would be presenting herself to Antonio. He would take her in his strong arms and undress her like a well-wrapped gift before he made love to her tenderly. She closed her eyes as she felt his touch. Gabi heard Ricardo’s keys in the door as she hurriedly tucked her hair behind her ears. She summoned her resolve as he announced his presence. "Gabi, are you here?" His voice was gruff after his long night at work. He lay back on the bed and rubbed his eyes with his hands. Gabi took one last look in the mirror and stepped to the edge of the bathroom door. She saw him stretched out on the bed and decided to make her move. THE MISSION Antonio couldn’t get out of his mind how upset Gabi had been on the beach and at the loft. He wanted to call her and make sure she wasn’t angry with him for some reason. He picked up the phone but didn’t dial. He slammed down the receiver in irritation as he realized that it would be easy for Gabi to lie to him over the phone. If he wanted the truth, he would have to go see her. He would find some excuse if Ricardo was there. He wouldn’t be able to get a thing done today if he didn’t settle his mind. Antonio grabbed his keys and headed out of his office to the loft. THE LOFT Ricardo sighed heavily as he kicked off his shoes. Gabi stepped slowly towards the bed and waited for Ricardo to open his eyes. He stretched his arms up over his head and interlocked his fingers. "Long night," Gabi said softly. "Yeah," he moaned without opening his eyes. "I’m completely exhausted." Gabi kneeled on the bed and leaned forward on her hands. "Maybe I can help you relax." Ricardo’s eyes popped open to see Gabi kneeling before him wearing not much more than a seductive smile. He pushed himself up on his elbows and ran his eyes over the black teddy and stockings. His pulse quickened as Gabi inched her lips closer to his. "I can make you feel better," she whispered as her lips brushed his softly. Ricardo pressed his lips against hers. She tasted so sweet as he ran his tongue over her lip and into her mouth. Gabi returned his kiss passionately. Ricardo’s hands roamed the silk fabric as he moaned deeply and quietly. He had forgotten just how good it felt to touch her. Gabi reached for his shirt buttons and began to slip them open. Ricardo grabbed her shoulders and threw her on her back to the bed. Gabi was startled at his roughness. He held himself over her with a strange look in his eyes. "I told you I’m tired," he said coarsely. He climbed off the bed and walked into the bathroom. The door slammed and Gabi heard the shower start. She was completely stunned that he turned her away. He had wanted her to make love to him for so long and now she was throwing herself at him for the taking and he wasn’t interested? Gabi pulled the sheet over her and shook her head. Ricardo climbed into the shower and slammed his fist against the wall. What the hell is she up to, he mumbled under his breath. He had been coming onto her for weeks and she kept giving him excuse after excuse to put him off. He’s gone all night and suddenly she can’t have him fast enough. Even dressing up to try and turn him on. His mind raced with possibilities…had she seen Antonio last night? Was she trying to distract him so he wouldn’t suspect what she was up to? It just didn’t seem right and his cop instinct wasn’t going to let his libido get the better of him. He would find out what she was up to before he made love to her, she could count on that. Gabi couldn’t make sense of Ricardo’s behavior. Maybe he really was just tired from work, but tiredness had never stopped him in the past. Gabi began to worry. She needed him to make love to her…soon. She knew her willingness might seem suspicious since she had denied him so long, but she didn’t have a choice. Making love couldn’t wait much longer. She knew nothing was going to happen this morning so she threw off the covers and rolled off her stockings. It was late and she needed to get to work. She jumped up and headed to the closet. Antonio peered in the window just as Gabi climbed from the bed in the black silk teddy. He turned away quickly as he dropped his head and closed his eyes. Obviously, she hadn’t had a fight with Ricardo and they were moving their relationship along. He swallowed hard. Antonio didn’t have the right to feel this way…they were husband and wife and making love was the most intimate act they could share. He just wished he hadn’t been there to witness the aftermath of it. He turned and walked silently down the stairs.
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